"ORD" LO!!!!

Haha, exam's finally over! Took some time to hang out and came home to take a break from studies forever! Time is all i have now, 1 month! B4 i enlist! Must make full use of this 1 month:)

Time to pursue and fight for what i want, srsly, all my life i feel i have not been able to fully express entirely what i want on the outside- fear perhaps? Which i regret. Frens i lost which i regret. All these i realise are all due to no one else's fault but me yup. Kinda regret but at least i realise this ever since i step into mjc? And i realise more after i finish my exam. There's so much things to blog abt that i am not really good at putting into words.

I see how the lives of the ppl ard me are changed esp those once close frens of mine, yet i wonder whether is mine any different from that in the past? I am going to try at least to get out of this stubborn, lazy mindset of mine and jump straight into the life that i want to be able to fully express myself:)

Guess no one understand but only me. Fight for your life, pursue ur dreams. What is it i really want? There's a deep burning desire inside me that is so unlike me on the outside sometimes.

Cya
Ziyan

Exam finished, yet life is not finished. haha, i long for exam to end but to end with a bang. Seems like it isn't. Hope i can turn things ard and have a direction aft exam but apparently i don have haha.

But on the good note, everything is over!!! :) Soon haha. One MCQ! Time to relax and make full use of my time.

Okay, to sum my alvl up, it has not been very easy as i thought. Hopefully my target will still be met:). I know it will. I still believe.

Cya
Ziyan

4 days left! This is the time when i guess people including me start to have thoughts of relaxing a while haha.

I have lagged my study plan yet i feel satisfied. Thats bad.

Anyway, on a sidenote, i guess all the prayers are starting to show. Cool to me eh haha. Gonna have more faith through this time through this life time.

And i want to play l4D!!!! Seriously, cant wait to plae w anyone who wan to plae. I want the excitement, the freedom, the enjoyment of killing zombies! And no more stress. No more! At least for two years. As long as i do what i like, i believe stress is quite minimal compared to now. Even in uni, when people seem to mug at a far worse and alarming rate than jc students, if i pursue what i like, i think it is definitely worth it.

Having said that, i must work hard to enjoy my years ahead! Alvl gao ni le! My career, my destiny, my testimony

Cya
Ziyan

Random: I seriously think environment is going to come out for gp p1 and p2 this year. haha. just a random thought after studying gp.

Cya
Ziyan

No one's online! Wads this haha. Shall stop playing dota from nowon. 9 days left.Fear is finding its master everyday. This is scary. Yet, since we r the masters we should be able to get rid of it right haha.

Mad abt

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Cya
Ziyan

What if

Have you ever wondered what will you do 20 years down the road? Which friends will still be with you then?

Okay, not so far fetched, what about 10 years down the road? What is your future route gonna be like?

Or even closer, what will you do after your Alvls?

Have you ever wondered? I did though, and i fear at the sight of it. Mayb it is cos i hate the feelings of deciding and planning your future route in life where no one will provide for you. In schools, the system is built in a way that you will naturally get educated and make friends and ...
But after JC life, i cant imagine how am i going to be so independent. Or rather will i still have the friends i am having now? Or will i be mixing with another whole new bunch of people? How will my working life be like? How is it that i am going to survive on myself when i am old enough to live alone? So many questions. No answers

Seems like what i read two days ago really makes sense in Dailybread. Often, we are anxious and scared of what our future will be. And this is inevitable and luckily normal. But personally, knowing god's there and before me. the head and nt the tail is comforting. I need faith and trust him. I need.

Random thought: How does chicken lay eggs everyday when it is enclosed in a cage by itself? How to mate? LOL

2nd Random thought: Why is a goft competition cancelled but not a soccer match? Don't lightning strike everywhere, be it in a goft course or soccer field?

Hmmmm, i wish someone can be there whenever i have smth to talk abt.

That someone is still someone. Some friends are there for you but i find it hard to talk to them at times. I can't be my normal self except with someone. Secret! haha. But that someone is a fren of course. Don think too much haha

Words beyond expln... donno how to describe haha. Things seem different when they all seem to be alright.

Cant wait for As.! I study till my eyes turn red. And is a horizontal red line across both eyes. Am i going mad?? hahaha..

Days at home are good but they can be boring at times when you are alone. Thats when u do silly things!